I need the job but want him to stop harassing me

Hi
I’ve been working for some time now with a company in Roseau. Recently the boss has been harassing me and although I’ve told him on several occasions that I do not appreciate his advances, he won’t stop or leave me alone. In fact, he has threatened (not in so many words) to terminate me. I learnt recently he has (is) been doing the same thing to some of the other girls at the office.  I need to stay in my job but I also want this to stop. I feel so helpless! What can I do?

Jessica

Dear Jessica

I can personally identify with you. Men like your boss prey on ‘needy’ women who may feel powerless to do anything about it. But actually, there’s a lot that you can do to stop these unsolicited and unwelcome advances.

First of all, you should make it clear to this man, in no uncertain terms, that you do not appreciate his advances (dirty jokes, suggestive comments, torches or proposition) and want them to stop immediately. You did not say, but if you have a husband or boyfriend, let him know that you are going to discuss the matter with him. That should be enough to get him to back off.  When i told my boss i was going to tell my husband he apologized profusely.

Secondly, understand that sexual harassment is an indictable offense under our labour laws. Since your boss has repeatedly ignored your protestations, its now time to officially file a complaint with the Labour Commissioner (and or police, lawyer, trade union, women’s Bureau). But it will be your word against his. Having one or two witnesses who can corroborate your story or documented evidence will strengthen your case.  Some of the other girls in the office might be willing to stand with you on this.

Thirdly, I wouldn’t really worry too much about loosing my job. If you’ve got all your bases covered, your boss can’t terminate you, otherwise he would have to compensate you for wrongful dismissal. Of course, I assume here that you are a model worker. But what if you actually did loose your job? Then you would have gained infinitely more—your self respect and dignity— than you would have lost. I love what Singing Rose says “you can keep your money, I’ll keep my honey and die with my dignity.” That’s not all; you would have stopped this perpetrator from taking advantage of another woman.

Finally, forgive your boss for the offense and pray for him. That’s not always easy but it’s the right thing to do. Pray that God would transform this man’s life. I tortured myself up until the day I forgave and released my supervisor who had similarly abused me. Forgiving your boss this horrible offense will do more for you than it might do for him.  It will clear your life of toxic anger, animosity and self-pity or loathing.